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Kambah Village Take-Away
Kambah, ACT
$2.20
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By AwesomeWolf on 21/9/2005
Score: 3.0/10
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My mum always tells me that Indian people can do whatever they want because they always have a wedding to plan. I don't quite understand why she says this, but she claims that the primary function of Indian people is to plan weddings. It is just what they do, and thanks to over-population issues on the sub-continent, we can just assume that Indian people have giant families, and are therefore spending almost every waking moment of their day planning weddings (or, according to Shau, K. doing IT work). I can't talk in the uni library. No, the library is a quiet place. Oh, those Chinese kids over in the corner can't talk either, but none of those PC-loving hippies at the uni will ever tell the Indian people to be quiet - after all, they have a wedding to plan.
Now what does all this second-hand racism have to do with today's sav? Well I wandered into the new look Kambah take-away looking for some lunch (i.e. a sav). The new owners (they could be the old owners, I've never really frequented that place) are Indian, and I was served by an Indian fella who was kinda hard to understand. I'm not gonna hold his English ability against him - I'm only there to judge the sav. "One battered sav, please!" I proudly annouce, and the sav is thrown in the deep fryer... and the shop's phone rings. The man behind the counter answers the phone, and speaks in whatever his native tongue may be. A few minutes later, I peer over the counter and see a sav that looks nice and ready, but the dude is still on the phone, presumably planning a wedding. I stayed patient, and finally I was rewarded with my sav.
Damn that was a bad sav. HE BURNED THE THING! Well, it wasn't charcoal, but it was very... tough. Just tough. No pleasant sav-like taste. Just toughness. What an anti-climax, but I'm not entirely convinced that it would have been much better if it had been cooked properly. It seemed very average. Even the trailer 'sav' provided a more enjoyable experience.
So kiddies, the moral of today's story is either "When cooking a sav, don't plan weddings", or maybe it is just "avoid Kambah Village". You get 3/10 tough sav.
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By AwesomeWolf on 1/4/2008
Score: 4.0/10
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It has been well over two years since my last Kambah Village sav, and subsequent angry and slightly racist rant about the former owners of the Kambah Village Take Away. I later discovered I may have been a quick to judge: they made horrible savs, but they made awesome chicken burgers (though their normal hamburgers were the greasiest balls of grease that you've ever attempted to eat, let alone keep a grip on). The take away has had new owners for about a year now, and despite working 10 metres away, I've only been in once, possibly to try a chicken burger. It must have been fairly average because I don't even remember that.
I think there is an inherent problem with this take-away though: It is in Kambah Village. Most of their regulars would be bogans and ratty kids (many of whom have some sort of mullet). With that sort of crowd, you really don't need to try and make anything decent: either way, they'll somehow find to way to use the magic c-word to describe you, even if they like you. There's also the fact that most of the Kambah population have criminal records: your worst take-away food is probably the same crap they got in prison. I'm not sure on that point though, next time I'm at work I'll ask one of the regular VB-buyers what prison food is like.
So you might've guessed: the savs have not improved. I'm sorry, let me correct that: the dagwood dogs they sell as 'battered savs' have still not improved. Stick? Check. Frank? Check. That's a dagwood dog. The batter is fairly chunky, and probably the best part of the thing but makes it average at best. The price has been hiked to $2.50 though, and no one should ever pay $2.50 for a crappy dagwood dog.
4/10 - I just had an idea for a third Snake Plisken movie: 'Escape from Kambah'. Some twenty years after 'Escape from LA', Snake is hiding out in Canberra when he gets trapped in Kambah, and has to fight his way through the hordes of Kambah in ESCAPE FROM KAMBAH!
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